I think firmly that most men and women are in love with the idea of a wedding rather than a marriage, (women more than men most of the time).
Most 19 to 22-year-old girls are not even remotely comprehending the idea of marriage! Oh, they say they do, but for most it's not on their radar. They are sold on the amazing 'perfect' wedding. Now, the idea of a 'perfect' wedding is not a bad thing to ponder and work towards. We need a wedding to get to the marriage, but I think sadly, that's where it all stops for so many couples. I think that's why we are seeing over half of all marriage crashing and burning. They think because they are now married they can just coast. I mean when you Google the word 'marriage', you know what pops up in images...the WEDDING! Like I said, the wedding is important, but if that's where we stop the train will derail.
I want you to think about the wedding. Why is it that the wedding is such a crazy success 99.9% of the time? Because you have both parties (the husband and the wife) working towards the goal. There is so much planning, prepping, conversations, dinner dates thinking about what that day will look like, we go to events on how to make your day amazing and we are intentional about everything about that day. It's work to make your wedding a success. Why would we not think that it's going to take work to make our MARRIAGE work as well? Because let me tell you. It's going to take work to make YOUR marriage work.
Here are a few ideas of living out an intentional marriage.
1. Plan together. When you were moving towards the wedding you both sat together on a weekly basis (sometimes daily) and planned stuff out. Why don't you sit with your spouse and plan out stuff together? Start small. Plan your week together. Sit down over dinner grab a calendar and look at your week and intentionally plan what you'd like to accomplish together.
2. Play together. Brother! This is for you. When you were engaged and planning the wedding you did stuff with your girl that was fun. So many times we get crusty in the marriage. We get focused on watching TV or playing on our phones. We did not do that when we were getting ready for the wedding. We were focused and looked for fun things to do together. Surprise your lady and take her to do something she enjoys. Be playful while you're there. Make her remember why she fell in love with you.
3. Worship together! I know this sounds simple, but so often this is the one that can really be pushed to the back of your life. Make time to study God's word together. Make time to pray together (out loud). Make time to go to church together. When your spiritual house is in order the rest of your life will run much, much smoother.
Listen, gang, I believe in marriage. I think it's something that God set up and we should be excited about, but we are going to have be couples that have a plan in place to make our marriages work. Marriage can be tough, but so is life. If we have a blueprint it can be a much smoother ride. I want us as married couples to make the commitment to have intentional marriages. When we do that our marriage will be successful.